Sleep Consultant Onboards Parents for 3-Day Infant Sleep Training Program

Hi Jenna, how are you?

Oh wait, oh whoops.

Oh, you're okay. Hi Sam, can you hear me now?

Okay, yes, sorry, that was my fault.

No, it's okay. So excited to chat about your sweet girl and get her sleeping and into a good routine, and so excited for tomorrow.

Oh my gosh, oh, go ahead. Us too, we are. I'm nervous. J— my husband JD is fine.

I'm nervous. Um, it's always So, you know, it's— I always say it's like you're on a trash truck during— down a dark tunnel, and I know there's light at the end of it, but, you know, for you it's like, oh my gosh, like, is it ever gonna get better? You know, that kind of thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It will truly get always hardest before easier, but through the hard, you know, we have to remind ourselves that they're learning such big things. But I'll just kind of go over what the next 3 days will look like. A lot of times that answers a lot questions, um, and, um, you know, when I go over it, and then any questions or concerns at the end we'll go over, if that sounds good.

That sounds great, thank you.

Yeah, um, so tomorrow morning when you guys are up and doing that for that first feed, you're gonna send me a text, and anytime, I mean like 4:30 and on your time, I'll be up, um, I'll, I'll be awake. So don't feel like you can't text me. That's one perk of being, um, you know, on Pacific Standard Time is that you can text me early in the morning. So if she is up prior to, um, you know, that goal start time, please text me. But then from that point on, we'll text nonstop. I'll let you know when to lay her down, when to, um, you know, do feed, when to do and how to retime the next nap. Every single thing along, um, the way. So 5 minutes before those naps, and based on what time she woke up, I'll say, okay, this is what time we're going to lay her down for her first nap. So 5 minutes before that is when we start that nap time routine. Check diaper, sleep suit on, sound machine on, lights off, sway at the crib for 15 to 30 seconds, and then down awake into bed. No passing, no drowsy, kicking, whatever.

Sorry, that's her.

No, no, it's okay. Let me know if you need me to pause No, you're good.

She just wants to let you know she hears you.

That's okay. Um, but then yeah, once you lay her down, you'll let me know. Also know for our nap time goals, always down an hour and a half, never down longer than 2 hours, or that 3 hours and 15 minutes between feeds, whichever one comes first. And 2, like, since she's just right there on the verge of that 5-month mark, you know, she might only be at like an hour 40 minute wake window, but I'll arrange it tomorrow for you and we can just base it, you know, on how she's doing. But if she starts to get fussy or that kind of thing, I always say trying to change up her activity and what she's doing first. And if you're within 5 to 10 minutes of that goal for her to go back down, always okay to go up to room, check diapers, sleep sack on, sound machine on, lights off, sway at the crib for 15 to 30 seconds, and then down awake into bed. Then you'll text me once you lay her down. I might even have you send me like a video of the monitor, how she is crying, moving, doing all the things, and we'll literally chat throughout that full nap.

If she—

once she does go down, or if she does struggle throughout it, you know, we'll keep talking, um, you know, during it, and then I'll help you retime the next nap, that kind of thing. We really try to avoid intervening at this age just because it can make it so much harder on them. But that's where, you know, we'll take it nap by nap, moment by moment. Have you send me the video of the monitor. Might have you go in and reposition or pat Ruksha for 1 to 2 minutes and then right back out. Just oftentimes, the more we do intervene, you know, a lot of times it just makes it harder on them just because they are so aware. But again, we'll just kind of take it nap by nap, moment by moment. But as she gets consistent at placing herself to sleep, then, you know, she's going to be able to see that she can get herself back down after that first sleep cycle, which sleep cycles are anywhere from 20 to 45 minutes in length. And so we have that— we get the foundation of them placing themselves sleep, and then they start to do what I call the roller coaster moments of attempting to get back down. 2 minutes of sleep, 5 minutes of sleep, 10 minutes of sleep, and up and down, up and down until they fully get themselves back down into that next sleep cycle. So just know it's super duper normal if they struggle to get down, and then once they get down, they only sleep that 20 to 45 minutes these first days, you know, as she learns. But really truly, they're giving them the time. I always say, through the tears and the cries and the hard they're really truly learning, and it gets so, so much better through and with our consistency. So we'll do that text nonstop through all the naps. As we get into bedtime time, let's say, okay, let's start bath, lotion, PJs here. If you don't do bath every night, that's totally fine. Even a warm washcloth wipe down is okay. And then after bath, lotion, PJs, and doing a full feed and a book. Um, and then after that feed and the book, Then basically nap time routine: check diaper, sleep suit on, sound machine on, lights off, sway at the crib for 15 to 30 seconds, and down awake into bed from there. So again, wanting her to place herself to sleep, no passing, no drowsy, so that she has that foundation of doing it solo, so that when she does wake up after that first sleep cycle, she'll know what she needs to do to get herself back down. Then once she's down for bed, you'll let me know, we'll text her placing herself to sleep for bed. I'll send over kind of, um, a guide for the nighttime and more or less like a pep talk, um, before going into the night. And, you know, we'll kind of decide like, are we going to do a dream feed, um, you know, to give you that peace of mind? What time are we gonna do it? And then how long to wait before going in depending on the timing of, of the night that she wakes up. But Always hardest before easier through those moments. And just reminding yourself, like, through anything that they go through, like, without the hard and the change, you know, we stay in the same place. So in order to build, you know, that foundation for her, always, you know, hardest, um, on Mama though, as, as they— we go throughout it. But you're stuck with me. We'll text all day Thursday, Friday, Saturday, then Sunday morning we'll check in like normal. I'll send over the month-to-month changes your way so that you know what every month forward looks like, um, and then be there to answer questions as you guys kind of, you know, learn the ropes. So take advantage of, you know, being able to text me and sending me the goals and the timing and all the things. So just know you're stuck with me going forward. I would say one day, one sleep, one night, one nap at a time. And, you know, that's, that's why I created this program like this, is because if we look at the big picture, the, you know, what do we do if this happens, you know, it can be overwhelming in our mind. So we'll literally walk through it all together. But I'll stop talking though and see if you guys have any questions.

Okay, that was super helpful. Thank you so much. Um, yeah, I feel like for me, I mean, I'm a first-time mom, so it's like I think there's just so much information out there and it's like, what's right, what's wrong? And I just need like somebody to, yeah, literally coach me through it and be like, you're doing the right thing, even if it feels hard or wrong. Um, so I'm excited to have that for sure. Um, something that we have run into is— and on— we have not been consistent with trying. So like, I'm sure the consistency piece is like the biggest key. Um, but I'm wondering, like, our girl's got some stamina, so she will like not tire herself out with her cries historically in the past? And is there ever a point where like you go in and like save the nap or rescue the nap or like—

I'm not doing this time just because then it just makes it more confusing and hard on them. Um, so definitely so normal to fully fight a full nap, but they really truly will get it, um, even my stubborn ones.

Okay. I hope she's not the most stubborn you've ever seen because I'm like scared.

Honestly, the only time, like, you know, sometimes it takes longer than the 3 days, you know, to build that foundation. But like I said, you're stuck with me. I'll be the first to tell you if we need to change anything up. But really, truly, like, the only time that it doesn't work is when, you know, parents want to do their own thing or don't trust the process or those kind of things. Totally. She'll be still okay. And, you know, we'll change up or do things differently or whatever we need to do to get to that goodness, for sure.

Okay, okay, that's helpful. Um, okay, and then I had one— oh, okay, you said that we would text like throughout their naps, and obviously the goal of the nap is to be an hour and a half, but what if, what if it's not? Like, do we just adjust for the rest of the day?

Yep. So that routine I sent you is basically like a perfect world routine, and so we'll be adjusting based on that hour 40, 45 minute wake window, literally non-stop. So based on— we'll always down for an hour and a half. If she wakes up sooner, we'll allow for her to be till that hour and a half, but then when those eyeballs open is when we retime that next nap.

Okay, okay, cool. That will be helpful to have you there. Um, okay. And then how long do you typically let them— or like, how long do you advise that they cry before you're like, okay, this nap is just not happening?

Well, we always allow for them to be for that hour and a half down, and if you feel like you need to go in there, we try— I try to encourage to wait at least the 45 minutes, but always let me know if you feel like we need to go in sooner. Just, I just always note that oftentimes the more we go in and out of the room once they're over that 16-week mark, just they get to be, um, you know, they're so aware, so it's more of a tease to them versus a helper. So we just always try to avoid it. But, um, okay, at least waiting, trying to wait that 45 minutes before we go in there with no intervening at all. Correct. And then going in, like rubbing, patting, showing, that kind of thing.

Okay, okay, okay. Um, have you ever had a baby cry for the full hour and a half?

Oh, oh, for sure. I mean, especially like babes that have never been laid down or, you know, never been slept in their bed or those kind of things. Definitely, you know, sometimes fight those first naps just because it's so, so new for them.

Okay. Okay, okay, normal. Um, okay, um, JD, anything else you can think of?

Um, my only question— hi, I don't think I—

this is my husband, JD, sorry.

Um, I, I feel like she doesn't show a lot of signs of drowsiness at an hour and a half a lot of times, and we—

if she—

we try to put her down Add an hour and a half.

An hour 45 is the right—

okay, sure, an hour 45. I, I still think she doesn't show a lot of drowsiness. I feel like that's when we struggle the most. Is it, um, I guess—

yeah, that's probably where you're running into— sometimes they just have like such a stoic face that you'll never really be able to tell. But honestly, the 9 times out of 10, our babes are so overtired that that's why they're fighting naps and refusing sleep. So we really won't go over that hour and 45 minutes, and I bet she's really closer to the hour and 40 minutes just based on her birthday. Um, but then we'll take, you know, take it nap by nap, but definitely from time her eyeballs open till time she lays back down, we definitely won't go over that hour 45 minutes just because, I mean, really truly doing this for so, so long, like the babes that, you know, parents are like, oh, they're not tired, and then you lay them down, and as they learn, they're asleep in 5 minutes. So just, um, you know, babes, they like to play us for sure.

Okay, great. No, I—

we believe that.

To make sure.

Yeah, that sounds great.

For sure. Yeah.

Um, okay, cool. I think— yeah, I think my biggest, like, question, and I'm sure after the first day, we'll figure out just like the routine of it all. It's just like the timing of it with— based on how she responds to each phase.

For sure, definitely. You know, I always say there's so many ups and downs as, as they learn and go throughout it, but really truly like reminding yourself, like, you know, just like if you buckled her in the car seat every time and she starts crying, like, we're just not gonna not go anywhere. Like, we're gonna love her through the routine. We're gonna remind her that she's safe and okay. We know that all of her basic needs are met. She's fed, she's not sitting in poop. So then we continue to buckle her in and know, you know, that she's okay. And so that's the same kind of thing, like, with the, um, with the crib or putting her in her high chair when she's able to sit. Like, we're just not gonna not put her in her high chair to eat meals just because she's crying and throwing a fit. Like, through the routine of anything we do for them is gonna show them love. And you know, so much of that nurturing and that care and that attachment and all that stuff is, you know, from the routine and from playtime and wake time. And you know, when she is getting good sleep, then that just makes wake time and playtime and car riding and high chair sitting, everything so much more enjoyable for everyone too.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I feel like This week especially, we've like kind of hit a wall with her with sleep, especially naps. Like, she's just been resisting everything. Um, so we're definitely ready and up for the challenge and scared, but grateful that we have you.

Um, well, truly, yeah, go for it. Were you gonna ask me something else?

Just the last question I had was if there was anything that you wanted us to do tonight to prepare for tomorrow, because At nighttime, she's been waking up like twice, um, like a full wake up about twice a night. And we've been doing feeds, which I think we're dropping, or with a dream feed we'll be dropping. So is there anything that you would recommend we do like tonight before we have your full support or anything, just to prepare?

I mean, like, I always offer it up, totally up to you if you want to do it, but you can let me know what time her last nap ends, and I can help time bedtime time. And then that way she can go down and place herself to sleep tonight for bed. And then I can give you, um, like, once she's down for bed, give you like the dream feed time and like the plan of what it would look like overnight based on, you know, like what her bedtime looked like and what we would normally do tomorrow. So if you do want to get started tonight, totally fine with me, just let me know what time that last nap ends.

Okay.

But if you're not, I just would say that if her feed falls after 4:00 AM, I would just do like a very short, small feed. Otherwise, trying to really avoid that feed after 4:00 AM just because we want her— and we want to make sure that she takes a good full feed when she's up to start the day.

Okay, okay, got it. All right, well, great. Thank you so much. We are excited and nervous but ready.

Yeah, we'll be so, so good. Well, keep me posted. Holler if you think of any other questions. And then too, if you do want to get started tonight, send me a text when she goes down for, um, you know, her last nap and what time she wakes up, and then we can go from there.

Okay, sounds good. Thank you so much.

Take care, Sam.

We really appreciate it. Okay, bye.

Bye, guys. Bye.